


It Could Be Different

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Jim trying to help Os, M/M, conversations over life choices, season one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-24 20:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17107442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Jim has the hope that maybe Oswald could change his life and become a different person.





	1. Chapter 1

Jim knew that perhaps this was a bad idea. This was a thought that he’d had ever since he chose to not shoot Oswald Cobblepot in the back of the head, an event that was still so recent yet so far in the past all at the same time. He hadn’t realized at that time that he would have the gull to return to Gotham, he also hadn’t realized that he would seem to take such a strong attachment to him. Jim knew it probably didn’t help that he himself went to Oswald for information, help, and even on the rarest occasion just to talk. 

Now here he was walking to his apartment with Oswald leaning against his side barely conscious, the younger man was a bloody mess courtesy of Maroni and his men. He was lucky he hadn’t been murdered, then again, he seemed to have a run of luck when it came to coming far too close to death and yet managing to escape time and time again. This was just another one of those instances.

Oswald was quiet as they made their way down the alley that lead to a dead end, the apartments were quant to put it nicely; small and out of the way, Jim was pretty sure his neighbors sold drugs. When they arrived at his door he reached into his pocket with his free hand, grabbed his keys and did his best to unlock the door while keeping an arm wrapped around Oswald’s waist full well knowing the other man would collapse to the ground if he let him go for a second. 

He pushed open the door and lead him inside, he kicked the door shut behind them. He took him over to the small dining table and sat him down on one of the chairs that sat at the table. 

“Where are we?” Oswald finally asked.

“My apartment, it was here or the hospital but I don’t really feel like explaining what happened to them.”

He doubted Oswald or his mother had health insurance or the means to pay for a hospital, he also highly doubted that Oswald would want to go to one, he seemed rather not fond of them.

“I appreciate that….You know you didn’t have to bring me here.” 

Jim ignored him as he retrieved the first aid kit from under the kitchen sink, he sat it on the table then got a cloth wetting it with warm water before returning to the table. He pulled the other chair around moving it to set across from Oswald, he sat down in front of him. 

“I wasn’t going to leave you there.” He eventually answered as he began carefully washing the blood off his face, Oswald flinched hissing when the cloth pressed a bit too hard against his bottom lip. “Sorry, if you can’t tell I’m really out of practice on this sort of thing.” 

“It’s fine, I have a good pain tolerance.” Oswald assured him.

“I’ve noticed.” 

They were both quiet as Jim continued to clean the blood from his face. 

“Why did you come back to Gotham, after I told you not to?” 

Oswald smiled, “I told you that, it’s my home. I was born here, my mom’s here….I don’t really know what would happen to her if I wasn’t here.” He responded speaking more honestly than Jim had expected.

“You ever think she might not handle it well if you ever get yourself killed?” Jim questioned as he set the cloth to the side.

He picked up the peroxide and a cotton ball soaking it before gently dabbing it against the split in his bottom lip. 

“I try to make a habit of not dying….Besides you seem to always be my knight in shining armor.” 

There was a teasing flirtatious tone to the words, Jim noticed that he often seemed to flirt with him, sometimes he wondered if he even realized he was flirting. 

“I’m a cop, I protect people.” 

He tossed the cotton ball into the trash can before getting another one, he began cleaning the cut on his forehead. 

“The cops in Gotham don’t exactly go out of their way to protect people like me if you haven’t noticed.” 

“I’m trying to change that.”

It felt like an uphill battle, but he truly felt things could change. There were years worth of corruption in the system, handling it on his own he knew was an exhausted battle and perhaps he’d never win, but he liked to think he could. 

Oswald hummed, “You’re not the first cop to try and change things from what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen, it never last.”

Jim finished cleaning his wounds. “If you want, you’re more than welcome to use my shower.” He offered, he felt like he should offer, and he wasn’t sure why.

“No that’s alright, trust me you’ve already done more than enough for me.” He said waving off his offer.

“You sure? I really don’t mind.” 

Oswald looked at him considering the offer, “Okay, sure….I must admit I’m not all that fond of being roughed up this often.” He said as he carefully got to his feet, he placed his hand on the table’s surface as he took a moment to steady himself.

“Maybe it’s time to find a different line of work?”

The other man chuckled, amused by the suggestion. 

Jim knew that Oswald couldn’t see how dangerous his lifestyle was, either due to only being in his twenties or due to his own over confidence in his plans he seemed to think that he couldn’t die, that he wouldn’t die. Jim decided to let it drop there, he pointed him in the direction of the small bathroom and wondered if maybe he could try talking to him again after he was done with his shower.


	2. Chapter 2

While Oswald showered Jim busied himself in the kitchen, mostly by heating up leftovers from the diner five minutes away from his apartment remembering he hadn’t eaten since noon and he doubted Oswald’s eaten in quite some time. He kept thinking to himself that all of this wasn’t a good idea, Oswald officially knew where his apartment was which means he would take that as an open invite to drop by whenever he pleased, just like he’d showed up at Barbara’s place nights ago. He still remembered how Oswald didn’t see what was wrong with that or maybe he did. His doubts about what Oswald wanted out of him, out of the mobsters, out of the city itself was the reason that he knew allowing him to be here right now was a bad idea.

Still though it changed nothing, he was already here, using his bathroom, and Jim was going to offer him food like he was a stray cat he’d found wandering outside his door. 

He heard the bathroom door open followed by the creaking of floorboards, there was silence for awhile until Oswald came out of the bedroom with his hair still soaked and a towel wrapped around his waist, he looked awkward standing there glancing at Jim then focusing on the floor.

“I um I would put my clothes back on, but I’m afraid they’re rather beyond repair.” He explained laughing awkwardly.

“I’ll let you borrow some of mine.”

Jim followed him into the bedroom, Oswald stood by the dresser looking around the room. For Jim the situation wasn’t immensely strange but then again after playing football in high school, being in the army, and working at the precinct where guys tended to change, sleep and bathe at work he was more than accustomed to seeing naked or mostly naked men. For Oswald he could tell the situation was awkward or maybe embarrassing, when he thought about it he realized he’d only really ever seen Oswald in suits before, not completely abnormal for a majority of citizens in Gotham, but he wondered about it now. 

He handed him black slacks and a white dress shirt, Oswald muttered his thanks still mostly looking at the floor as he took the clothes from him.

Jim tried not to stare but his learned instinct to study people couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help but notice the cuts and scars of various shapes and sizes. Some were very recent while others seemed like he’d had them a lot longer than anybody his age should have scars for. He wondered if the scars were the thing he was nervous about. He shrugged the thought off as he turned and left the room shutting the door behind him.

Now he was onto letting Oswald borrow his clothes. He was sure they wouldn’t fit quite right, they were close in height but in terms of physique Oswald was rather scrawny, not that Jim was surprised. 

He’d known plenty of guys like him in high school, the guys who wore eye makeup they only applied in the bathroom because if they’d done it at home before going into school that day their parents would have lost their shit. The guys who got bullied constantly, normally by the football team, by guys that for a time Jim considered his friends until he realized he wasn’t sure he wanted to be their friend. He still remembered the guy with the long brown hair who wore mostly black and spent his time listening to rock music and failing miserably in class, half the time hiding behind the school smoking pot. He remembered defending him from guys he once called friends, smoking pot with him, and eventually inevitably kissing him behind the school.

Jim looked when the bedroom door opened, as he’d thought his clothes were loose on him, but they’d be fine until he went home and got into his own clothes. Jim hoped he’d just keep these instead of trying to return them, knowing his luck he’d try to return them while Harvey was around.

He still seemed bashful, that manic constant planning Jim was growing accustomed to seeing in his eyes wasn’t there like it normally was. He hoped that just maybe for a moment he could know who he really was.

“I uh I heated up some food if you want some…..It’s not much, just some steak and mashed potatoes from the diner nearby. I’m not exactly a great cook.” 

Oswald smiled, “It’s quite alright, I appreciate it. You don’t have to go through any trouble for me.” He said as he took a seat at the table.

Jim joined him sitting at his side. “It’s no trouble.”

“You rescued me from being killed or just bleeding to death on the sidewalk, brought me to your apartment which to be quite truthful with you could have been a rather terrible idea, you cleaned my wounds, allowed me to use your shower, I’m currently wearing your clothes, and now I’m eating with you….Trust me for a cop that is a lot and perhaps a little morally ambiguous, I am after all the local snitch with a long criminal history and according to some an eccentric raving lunatic.” He spoke casually, every word coming out factually like he’d been thinking about this from the moment Jim made the decision to bring him here instead of just leaving him behind to possibly die.

Jim was silent, he watched him as he started to eat as if nothing had been said at all. He knew everything he’d just said was right, it was potentially a dangerous overly trusting move to bring him here. Still realistically he knew in a fight with or without weapons he most likely had the upper hand. He knew the last thing Oswald wanted Maroni or Fish to know was just how close he was to the cop who wanted them all to end up in prison for their crimes. As much as he knew Oswald wanted to bull shit him, act as if he had any upper hand in the situation, he realistically did not. This night was something neither of them wanted to tell people about for rather similar reasons.

“You’re not a lunatic.” Jim pointed out.

Oswald paused and looked at him furrowing his brow. “How would you know that?”

“I’ve seen your case file. Not like I know anything about psychology, but you don’t exactly seem off the deep end.”

He looked surprised and caught off guard upon hearing Jim had read through his file. Jim smiled, he kind of liked being able to catch him by surprise.

“You read through my file?”

He nodded. “I know that you used to have dirty blond hair, that the first time you had a run in with the cops you were fourteen. You’d tried to steal the tires off a police cruiser and been caught. Then again at sixteen you were arrested again because you’d attempted to rob a gas station near your apartment with a group of your friends, unfortunately your friends had bailed on you the second the old man behind the counter pulled out a shot gun, you cried, and your mom had to come bail you out. Again, after that you were arrested at eighteen except this time for a mugging, that time though you were bailed out by Fish Mooney.”

Oswald stared down at his plate, face flushed. 

Jim wondered why he seemed so surprised that he could quite easily find out so much about him, not like it was anything too detailed. Hell, by Gotham standards the things he’d done were normal. He did wonder though why Fish Mooney bailed him out of jail that last time, he wondered if by then Oswald had started working for her or if that was the moment she decided to take him under her wing. 

Oswald got up from the table, he made his way over to the counter grabbing the bottle of whiskey and a glass out of the sink, he returned to the table and poured himself a drink. 

“Why did Mooney bail you out of jail that third time?”

“You know it is truly unfair that you know so much about me and my past discretions yet I know so little about you….Though I doubt you’ve done many terrible things.” Oswald said sighing, he downed his drink then poured himself another one.

“Fair enough, what would you like to know?”

This was another terrible idea, but he was on a roll. He knew they wouldn’t relay anything said in this apartment to the people in their lives.

Oswald looked at him seeming to realize just the same thing, there wasn’t much reason to lie to one another right now, because they didn’t need anybody knowing they could be casual like this with each other.

“Your family, any siblings, parents still together?”

“I’m an only child and my father died when I was a kid, he died in a car crash…Drunk driver. My mom did her best to raise me, worked two jobs, I didn’t see her that much because of work.”

He remembered how constantly tired she was, most times only getting two hours of sleep before having to shower and change and go off to her second job. He remembered being angry in his teen years because neither his mother’s family or his father’s family had helped them out or checked on them after his dad had died, it was as if they’d just ceased to exist.

“I’m sorry to hear about that.” 

“What about you?”

Oswald shrugged as he stared at his glass, “My mom told me my dad died shortly after I was born, anytime I ask her about him or his name or what he looked like she just starts crying so I’ve learned to just not ask….Mom is from Hungary, she moved here at eighteen and I think she’s been in that apartment building since before I was even born.” He smiled shaking his head. “It’s rather depressing actually, are there any happy families in Gotham?” He asked looking over at Jim.

“Good question, I’ll tell you if I ever come across one.” 

He reached for the bottle taking off the top, he grabbed the glass from Oswald and poured himself a drink, downed it then handed the glass back to him. 

“It may perhaps be a touchy topic, but I do love to pry and learn about people….What exactly is with your relationship with Barbara Kean?” 

“It’s complicated, it used to not be complicated though….I think it’s more me than it is her.”

He found himself looking for reasons to get angry or distant when it came to her, he knew it was wrong. Keeping her in the dark, lying to her, but it was some compulsion to do so. Some naïve bull shit that made him think that the more he kept her in the dark and the more distant he was then the safer she was from harm, but that wasn’t true.

Oswald poured himself a drink, downed it then handed the glass back to Jim. “Have you considered that just maybe she isn’t your type?” 

Jim laughed, “I think she is though….Shit maybe you’re right, I really hate saying you might be right.”

“Not like I’m suggesting you take relationship advice from me.” 

Jim finished off his own drink, he set the glass on the table. “I am kinda curious though, since you know about my relationship. What about you?”

Oswald smiled looking away, “I um I actually have never dated before.”

“Really?”

Oswald shrugged, “To be honest it went from nobody wanting to date me to busying myself so much with working for Fish and now everything else….I sort of stopped seeing the purpose or reasoning in such things for a while.” 

Jim looked at him, he thought about the way Oswald spoke to him a lot of the time, the way he looked at him, and his odd need for his attention and approval. He typically wanted to avoid that, avoid thinking about it or allowing himself to explore exactly how any of that, this made him feel. 

“Is there anybody you’re interested in, if you had to date of course.” 

He felt he knew the answer, that was if he decided to tell the truth or dodge the question completely. 

Oswald turned to face him, “You know that answer already, I should mention I don’t exactly like being teased or mocked.” 

“I promise I’m not teasing you or mocking you.” He assured, he reached out placing a hand against his knee. 

Oswald looked down at his hand then back up at him, “I’m not quite sure if I should be flattered or disappointed considering anything confessed here won’t leave this apartment.” He said smiling softly.

“You know how churches have confessionals, say whatever you need to get off your chest to a guy who can’t tell another person what you’ve said….We could look at this that way, minus the intense religious judgement of course.” 

He needed some justification to this, to the situation. He didn’t know what he wanted right now or what he’d want in the morning or even an hour from now. He just knew that he’d been making questionable decisions since he met him and just maybe this could be the beginning of a middle ground. 

Oswald smirked, “I’m Jewish, not practicing, but still….So the catholic guilt doesn’t apply to me, regardless I like the idea. We should of course put limitations in place, times and all of that, just so we’re completely clear on this next stage of our friendship.” He said as he stroked his fingers along the back of Jim’s hand.

“Or we could worry about that later, I get the feeling neither of us really want to discuss that right now.” 

“Fair point.”

Jim reached up placing a hand against his cheek, he gently stroked his thumb along the cut there. Oswald watched him, he leaned into his touch seeking out the warmth of the other man’s skin. Jim leaned in pressing his lips to his in a gentle kiss, he could feel just how nervous he was about this. He knew this was his first kiss, a part of him hated that anything that happened here couldn’t leave here. It still felt nice to kiss him though, to feel his fingers pressing against his bicep, soon after he had Oswald on his lap. He wrapped an arm around his waist holding him close as they continued to kiss, he nipped at Jim’s bottom lip before breaking away leaning his forehead against his as he idly stroked his fingers against the back of his neck.

“If I’m to be completely transparent with you right now, I perhaps have imagined doing this with you a time or two.” He confessed smiling shyly.

Jim rubbed his hand along his back, “I’m not really surprised, I noticed the way you stare at me. You seriously suck at hiding things like that.”

It was his downfall in general, he was very emotional and expressive. If his goal was to be in the same league as the other mobsters, he wouldn’t get far if he continued this way. Deep down Jim hated the thought of seeing him lose that much of his humanity, truthfully, he liked to think just maybe he’d change his mind and go on to live a completely normal life, he’d be more than happy to help him with that if he wanted him to.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim hissed in pain as he felt Oswald bite his neck a little too hard, he placed a hand against his chest gently pushing the other man back. Oswald looked at him face flushed, lips parted, and a look of embarrassment on his face. Jim could already hear his rambling apology in his head before Oswald managed to begin speaking. He placed a hand against the back of his neck pulling him in and kissing him slowly silencing him before he had the chance to apologize.

“Easy on the biting, okay?” 

Oswald nodded. 

A part of him desperately wanted to have sex with him, to feel his body under him, feel those blunt nails scratching down his back, and find out if he was the quiet mewling type or a screamer. They were half a bottle of whiskey and three cans of beer in though, he knew Oswald hadn’t been intimate with anybody before, everything they did this evening was a first for the low-level criminal, and Jim knew that. He knew Oswald wanted to impress him, pretend to some degree that he knew what he was doing when in reality he was obviously nervous. Jim though didn’t want his first time to be rushed and alcohol induced, he didn’t want him waking up in the morning hung over and sore, possibly regretful. 

Jim pet his fingers through his hair as he stared at him; it was an internal struggle making himself in his haze of drunkenness and hormones to remember that he was petting the hair of a young adult male who had killed several people and worked for mobsters who controlled the entire city. Still though he felt this tug in his chest that told him that he could change, his interests could shift, he could be less hateful and stop seeking revenge on those who hurt him. Jim kissed him again, more gently this time.

Oswald was quiet as Jim lead him to the bed, he could sense his anxiety and wanted to ease it.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” He told him wanting to assure him he had no intention to pressure him into anything physical.

“Thank you, do you think perhaps I could just sleep with you?” He asked sounding uncertain.

Jim pressed a kiss against his forehead. “Sure.”

It was a risk allowing him to stay the night especially if they shared a bed, anything involving kindness shown towards Oswald ran a risk and Jim knew that. 

Still though climbing into bed and having the other man curled up against his side made him feel there was a potential that he could change, that the city hadn’t poisoned his soul quite yet.


End file.
